I'm moving a little easier today.
On Wednesday I used a frozen bag of vegi's on my back and it truly made a huge difference.
Plus, I spent time thinking about where I am, why I feel overstretched and what my body means to me.
I've spent most of my life taking advantage of my body.
I suppose most of us do.
I was a child who could do gymnastics and was semi-athletic.
Movement has never been strained for me.
I suppose that's one of the draws to yoga and bellydance for me.
I feel my body and challenge myself, physically and mentally, during both joys.
And if I don't have my physical body, where does that leave me?
As long as I am breathing, it leaves me to do pranayama more.
It leaves me to more meditation.
Mantra.
And it takes me back to my roots of art, jewelry and music.
I feel grateful that I have been given this life to express all the etheral qualities I feel.
I am more than my body, but remembering this on days I feel less, is challenging.
I will think about this more, figuring a way to express this while teaching...
loving what I do.
Did I say I was going to rest? Slow down, in care of my back...?
Yes, I did.
Have I?
Not yet, but kinda.
My girls are home sick this week, so I'm not going into work at the library.
I'm resting with a bag of frozen vegi's on my back, adding cream on occasion.
It's helpful.
This is leading me to think more than act.
This is something I try to teach and consider in my daily life, but when forced to face
the bright lights--it takes on other feelings, thoughts and reactions internally.
It's leading my inward...back into my meditation practice.
Dhyana.
My practice this week has been very altered.
My lower back has been overly stretched, which takes TIME to heal. I know this.
I would tell students, friends and strangers...give yourself time--let yourself heal, but personally, I discover a spot of impatience with myself and time.
Being "hurt" is when I am reminded of how I depend upon my physical body to
emotionally and spiritually deal with my day.
Deal with my time.
My space.
My body.
And then I realize, how often I go through my day physically incorrectly.
I rarely bend my knees when I pick something up or even put on my shoes,
so I suppose this is a good reminder I am not indestructible or 20 years old.
I was officially 39 1/2 yesterday. Still young, but thankfully--not that young.
I am celebrating this time, this age by moving forward playfully. Consciously. And trying to develop a gentler mind approach with myself.
So, this morning as I was slowly working through an online practice,
I realized how helpful modifications really can be.
Doing mainly a vinyasa practice, I flow between down dog and standing poses often, which I have struggled with all week.
The first time this happened was during my YTT a year and half ago, but not from yoga--well, possibly yoga--naked time yoga. No details needed other than between all the actual yoga I was doing and a healthy romp, caused me to overstretch my lower back. It took a few weeks to heal, but it did--and now, here again--I'm overstretched.
This time though, it's a symbolic overstretch that is physically manifesting itself.
I am aware that as a well loved, single momma of three divine daughters--that works as a full time librarian and part time yoga sharer, I am spread thin. And my back wants to wake me up.
It's shouting slow down.
Take it easy.
Stand still.
So I open my practice this week to slowing down.
Standing in the moment.
Listening in meditation.
Om.
This morning I am going to one of the local preschools to do yoga
with 3-5 year olds. This is one of my most favorite classes...maybe
because I started doing yoga with kids before adults...maybe
because of their unbridled joy for play...maybe because my heart
loves it all.
I am doing a sleepytime/quiet yoga theme this morning.
Funny, considering their children on a snowy morning...inside a building,
but it's worth the try:)
Assuming things go as planned, this is my agenda:
1) Introductions...never assume anyone remembers you or your name in general:)
2) Dedicate to someone you love, placing hands over heart.
3) Centering: Imagine a butterly. What color is it? Do you see the sky behind it?
Watch it flutter flower to flower, till it quietly lands.
4) Warm-Up: Lighthouse, water, boat
5) Sun Salutations
6) Story: Peace and Quiet, A Yiddish Tale
7) Laying down, make legs a candlestick; hug knees into chest
8) Star relaxation
There are about 25 kids and 4 teachers to this lovely class.
Off I go...have an Omazing day!
xoxox
Viaragya or dispassion has been my floating word recently.
I haven't come to my personal meaning fully --yet--
but I have found a setting for it.
Recently I have found that I can apply the word dispassion to replace
people I am having aggravation towards.
We all have folks who, given the right circumstances, we end up just not caring for personally.
Maybe there's the bathroom girl-gossip or out right 'I don't like you' looks, but I truly dislike venting my anger or ickyness with other people...even friends. I believe thoughts are things that come back to you, one way or another....
When I find I don't like someone or something they do, I visualize myself handing them a flower or a floating heart. I have felt this work for me many times before, but when it hadn't worked for me recently--I really felt at a loss.
Then--during many moments of aggravation these past few weeks, I remembered the word dispassion. Every time I thought of someone I didn't care for, I just said the word:
dispassion.
Over and over again.
So...now--I am letting go of this extreme dislike...unattachment.
Dispassion towards people and events I can't control, or even care to.
Om.
Xoxo
