Stepping into the rain

I was waiting for my bedroom paint to mix to it's correct sea foam color in a big-box store when I heard it.
The sound of either the store collapsing or a downpour.

The paint guy made a joke.
"Now on sale, umbrella's."
And we both laughed, well - I smiled with a small laugh.

I got my paint, knew I had a few more items to look for when I realized
I was wasting time.
I was waiting for the rain to quit.
Or at least turn into a spring mist.

And when I could waste no more time and spend no more money, that's when I heard a soft voice say, "sometimes you just have to get wet."

I knew it was time.
It was time to walk to the cashier, pay and accept what was going on in the outside world: rain.

I pushed my cart to the tippiest dry spot I could and knew I couldn't go any further.
I didn't have anyone waiting to get my car for me.
I didn't have a magical portal to home.
I had to get wet.
And then I thought, since when do I care?

So, I smiled as I raced my cart to the car and unloaded my next home project - in the rain.

As I was driving home I thought about how I tried to wait the rain out and how often do we do that?  How often do we waste time trying not to get wet or messy or deal with change?  How often do we stay in one place because stepping into the rain is just too messy?  Our hair might get wet...our clothes wrinkled...our plan - ruined. 

Sometimes you just have to accept, yes I am going to get wet.  I can't stay in this big box forever.  Sometimes you have to step into a puddle before you can get dry....sometimes you have to get messy, before you get clean.

So, as you step into your day, step onto your mat -- are you just dipping your toe to only get a little wet or do you accept the downpour that happens when you start living. 

Rain nourishes the earth.
Waters the soul.
Play.
Get wet.
Grow.

Far Out Pigeon Pose

I am not so sure where to put this entry, here or over at my other blog, but because it has to do with yoga - I'll begin here.

This morning I woke up at my normal 5am time and did a mini happy happy joy dance in my head because I realized I didn't have to get up till at least 6:30.  Thankfully I fell back asleep easily and drifted into my favorite sleep state:
dreamtime.

This is the easiest time to find lucid dreaming, when I have woken up and can fall back asleep without worry. 

Anyhow, I dreamt I was working myself into full pigeon pose.  I was looking back towards my foot, which in real life, I can not do and this is a pose I am always working towards...anyhow, I then could see a face and beautiful soft lips.  My focus, drishti, was so connected I felt I was in that beautiful space- I was in the center of the lips and I could feel this pigeon pose open up.  And then as I came out of the pose, I was two of me - but my lower self stood in front of me, naked and smiling, while my higher self was blessing my other self.  I was placing my hands on the chakra points, but I was going into the body since my higher self--well was clearly higher and could.  I knew it was a higher spirit/holy spirit blessing me. And then it was over.

The end.
And when I woke up and remembered it, I did another happy dance.  This time for a spectacular day.

Om Shanti.

6am yoga

I spent the entire week with my alarm set at 5am in anticipation for today's class.

It's Saturday and most folks I've realized, as much as they want to get up and go,

they don't want to get up and go do yoga at 6am.

I'm ok with that.

Mostly.

Of course I dream of 10 people walking through the doors, dying to do yoga.

In reality, I am lucky to have 5.

Today, I had 2.

Really one, but there were two other women that started exercising at 5:15am and one decided to stay for this class...so one plus one equals 2 :)

I made the decision last night that I would get up, drink one cup of coffee and get ready.

What that meant this morning was getting up at 5, letting the dogs out, letting them in, drinking one cup of coffee sitting on my mat and chanting to wake up my voice.

I realized mid-week that as much as I like getting up early, I don't really talk. So, being prepared today, I chanted on the mat and walking in the crisp, frosty air.

The air doesn't really hang in the winter. It dissolves quickly. I noticed by the time I got over the tracks that my body heat was picking up and I could easily walk in the cold air. I used to do it consistently. Now, I feel fortunate when I have the opportunity to walk. So, I walked down the street, beeped myself in and unknowingly came upon two exercising women who were just as surprised to see me.

The one who stayed, I believe, was meant to stay. It was meant to happen. We have been talking yoga for a few years now and she had a certain amount of trepidation about it. Even this morning I had to do a little coaxing, but I could tell she enjoyed it enough to possibly do it again.

After class I walked back home in the dark. It was only 7am. My family was still asleep.

I got to drink another cup of coffee, write and officially begin my day when the rest of the world sees fit.

Namaste.

Sleepy Time Yoga

For about a billion years, I have done a 20 minute yoga practice before bed.
When I don't do this, I feel it in my body-- unfortunately at about 1am.
I wake up with energy laying in my back, wanting to move my legs, my body.  My mind wanders during this time and I have a hard time turning thoughts off.  Needless to say, this is not enjoyable in the middle of the night.  Since I have started working full time a few years ago, I find myself skipping this practice occasional.  Again, not a good idea, because often when it is skipped is when I need it the absolute most...busy days, overflowed with scheduling, that leaves me mentally drained. 

When I do these simple asana's, then my sleep is vastly improved.  I stay in each pose for about 2-5 minutes.  I generally let my mind wander, letting go of the day and observing what is showing up on my nighttime mat.  Things that I need to let go of before bed, so they don't want to chat in the middle of the night. 

Enjoy. Om.

Uttasana











Upavista Konasana













 Tarasana











Savangasana (with variations)



Chakrasana (with leg variations)

Savasana

 

You Can't Take the Ganesha Out...

A little over a year ago I began teaching yoga at a local studio that offers varying
healthy options to living: massage therapy, bellydance, reiki, life coaching, etc...all the
yummy stuff.  But coming into this space, I quickly realised I wasn't going to start class with a lot Sanskrit chanting or delve into the spiritual side immediately.  Part of this has been personal, selective growth and part of this is learning about the people who come to this studio.  Well--on the other side of immediately--is this year later when I comfortably begin and end with OM and share small stories of the practice.  I understand this to be more about my comfort at this point, not wanting to scare off students, afraid if I delve too deeply they're not going to come back to this space.  Even as I write that, I think it's smartly silly.


This past Thursday, at the end of class, a student came to me and said she had a question.
She continued by asking if I had any good books about Hindu gods or goddesses.  I
told her I didn't, but when I have questions about them, I either go to the library or online.  She then continued to tell me that when she is in savasana she gets images of "elephant people."  

I smiled.


Oh Ganesha.


I asked if she knew about Ganesha.  Had she heard the name?  The story?


No. And No.


I gave the small bits I knew and realised it's ok to share what I know, even if it's not complete.  People have the choice to go further in exploring their minds.  


And then she talked about seeing a "monkey face."


I smiled again.


Oh Hunaman.






She was full of this open space--recalling the past.  We spoke of reincarnation and spirituality.  It was a conversational gift.


That evening in the beginners class I shared the word Sri and the meaning.   This student was/is connected in with this divine sense, yummy sense of her spirituality.  So, even as I try to lightly cover the spiritual side of yoga, there are going to be those it resonates with and those it won't.  I don't need to necessarily water down my words, my stories...they sit where they need to...and Ganesha, removes the obstacles--placing success...where we open ourselves to.

Moving meditation

Yesterday I went to a yoga workshop dealing with mantras in asana.

I am falling into this place of genuinely feeling the practice as a moving meditation.
I've said it over and over to students, having moments of feeling it--and as I continue to add it into
my own practice, it truly is there.

I sense the kundalini rising when sound is added into movement.
Prana.
Love.
Om

Your Mid Back WANTS to Love You!

A friend I bellydance with has had back issues for a few months now.  We attended
a bellydance workshop in the fall when she had just begun having sciatica pain.  She stands on her feet
most of the day as a dental assistant and is the mom of three younger girls.  She's a busy
woman with a busy family, attempting to give herself the gift of dance--which is creating
more pain on some occasions.  With a pleading look in her eyes, she approached me last week  after class to come up with some stretches for her--with hopes of relieving pain.  She's been
going to physical therapy and is getting an MRI, but desires a livable approach to
what she's going through.  I sent this to her this week and thought it may be helpful to
others.  If you have suggestions, feel free to comment. 

Om.


Start by sitting quietly for a few minutes and check in with your breathing and yourself. Middle back pain is associated with not feeling supported. Cultivate a positive intention to see yourself supported emotionally, physically, spiritually and intellectually--releasing any judgement that may arise.

1. Childs Pose
2. Cat/Cow
3. Gentle Sun Salutations

The poses linked below by Sadie Nardini on Gaiam are a good stretch. Notice that she talks about not over developing belly muscles.

http://blog.gaiam.com/blog/top-6-yoga-poses-for-back-pain-slideshow/


In the end, finish by lying on your back doing gentle twist with your knees to both sides to relieve any tension to the lower back. If it bothers your back though, do not twist. Legs up the wall or supported up on the couch, also is a good back release.

End with a few minutes of relaxation.

Try to do this a few times a week. Play with the timing, you may discover stretching before bed helps you sleep better.

More than my body

I'm moving a little easier today.
On Wednesday I used a frozen bag of vegi's on my back and it truly made a huge difference.
Plus, I spent time thinking about where I am, why I feel overstretched and what my body means to me.

I've spent most of my life taking advantage of my body.
I suppose most of us do.
I was a child who could do gymnastics and was semi-athletic.
Movement has never been strained for me.
I suppose that's one of the draws to yoga and bellydance for me.
I feel my body and challenge myself, physically and mentally, during both joys.

And if I don't have my physical body, where does that leave me?
As long as I am breathing, it leaves me to do pranayama more.
It leaves me to more meditation.
Mantra.
And it takes me back to my roots of art, jewelry and music.

I feel grateful that I have been given this life to express all the etheral qualities I feel.
I am more than my body, but remembering this on days I feel less, is challenging.

I will think about this more, figuring a way to express this while teaching...
loving what I do.

Slowing down my back

My practice this week has been very altered.

My lower back has been overly stretched, which takes TIME to heal. I know this.
I would tell students, friends and strangers...give yourself time--let yourself heal, but personally, I discover a spot of impatience with myself and time.
Being "hurt" is when I am reminded of how I depend upon my physical body to
emotionally and spiritually deal with my day.
Deal with my time.
My space. 
My body.
And then I realize, how often I go through my day physically incorrectly.
I rarely bend my knees when I pick something up or even put on my shoes,
so I suppose this is a good reminder I am not indestructible or 20 years old.
I was officially 39 1/2 yesterday. Still young, but thankfully--not that young. 
I am celebrating this time, this age by moving forward playfully. Consciously. And trying to develop a gentler mind approach with myself.


So, this morning as I was slowly working through an online practice,
I realized how helpful modifications really can be.
Doing mainly a vinyasa practice, I flow between down dog and standing poses often, which I have struggled with all week.


The first time this happened was during my YTT a year and half ago, but not from yoga--well, possibly yoga--naked time yoga. No details needed other than between all the actual yoga I was doing and a healthy romp, caused me to overstretch my lower back. It took a few weeks to heal, but it did--and now, here again--I'm overstretched.


This time though, it's a symbolic overstretch that is physically manifesting itself.
I am aware that as a well loved, single momma of three divine daughters--that works as a full time librarian and part time yoga sharer, I am spread thin.  And my back wants to wake me up.  
It's shouting slow down.
Take it easy.
Stand still.


So I open my practice this week to slowing down.
Standing in the moment.
Listening in meditation.


Om.

Word of the day: kula

I don't remember if it was my family, teachers or both, that instilled the idea of learning a new word a day.

It seems the concept should partner people together, but I suppose it doesn't matter, because in the end--I still-- almost at 40-- try to enhance my vocabulary.

So my word on Monday was kula: meaning family or group.
If you look up kula via wikipedia, you'll discover it means different things in different languages.
I am interested in the Sanskrit interpetation of the word, even though according to the New World Encyclopedia it is a difficult word for English interpretation. 

Personally, I don't see the difficultly in it.
I know there's the saying we can pick our friends, but we can't pick our family.
First off, I don't buy that saying.
I think we come to this place, this space, choosing our family and friends to love and learn about and from...but if not--then at what point do we acknowledge our family brings us lessons and ideals to learn positive and negative from?

Ok. Then there's this looseknit idea of 'family' --the people we mean to spend our time with.
On purpose.
With intention.
Friendships.
Relationships.
Working relationships.
Spiritual community.
Our kula.
Tightknight group of folks who love each other or at least tolerate.

If we are fortunate, we have a supportive immediate and extended kula.
And if we don't--we should honor our inner light, to place our Being towards the highest.

On Monday evenings class, I threw out the word kula while they were in childs pose, explaining the meaning of family.
I don't get into my personal beliefs too much, but try to share philosophy and ideas that correlate to the practice.  One thing I did say was that when dealing with our kula, our family--our base--we can use the chakras or energy centers in our body that coincide with words and ideas, to help us.

Our base chakra or muladhara chakra is said to reside at the base of our spine.
It's what keeps us stable in relationships, work, family.
And seeing how we're coming upon the holiday season, this chakra can take a beating...dealing with positive and negative past family baggage or even work that we're trying to accomplish before our time off.

That's when we need to ground ourselves.
So--Mondays class was full of grounding poses.
Heart opening poses through grounding poses, that hopefully offered insight or thoughtfulness.

I enjoyed Mondays class because I realized I spoke as I usually write.
There's a true gap between what I physically say versus my written word.
I feel more comfortable writing, sharing what may or may not be accepted.
But what I've been striving to find in my teaching is this voice I carry through writing, into my real-life teaching.
And what I feel comfortable in doing is sharing words.
Sharing stories.
To me these are real 'things' that people can carry in their heads in a positive way.

Sharing with their own kula.
Family.
Om

Saucha

On my hands and knees, mopping my floors, the word 'saucha' popped into my mind.
Saucha is one of niyamas in yoga philosphy, meaning purity or cleanliness.  Dealing with my household,
I find it the most difficult.  Once upon a time, my girls were young- I was married and worked very part time. 
My household was never perfect, but it was much more tidy.
Then my girls grew alittle and I was no longer married, working two full time jobs.
My household was less than perfect and hardly tidy.

And then yesterday, with my youngest at home sick, I took/take such joy in being able to clean--truly clean.
Not the surface wiping, but getting into the corners and delving into the practice--delving into saucha.
At a certain point, I remind myself--this is not permanent...the cleaning, the messiness--the moment.
Soon there were a housefull of girls rearranging any order I may have illusioned myself into creating.
And then that will disappear too--but I will have the thought and the word to ponder on:
Saucha.

Plus, I have other positive purities within myself--my household that I can see the abundance in and appreciate. It is a constant practice. Much love.
Om.
xoxo

Satya

On Thursdays I teach a vinyasa 715 am, work 9-530, then teach beginners 730pm class.
It's tiring.  Not the teaching, but the work day sandwiched between classes.  My girls aren't thrilled
about me teaching an evening class, but the calling is there and I'm in the state of believing it will
work itself out.

Most weeks, as I grow in my practice, I try to find a word or something higher to bring into my class.
For me, I have a bigger fear in sharing my spiritual side than teaching asana, so I do my best to bring my
language in the forefront..at least in my mind.

This morning as I was glancing through Yoga Journal, I read their featured article on Tree Pose. 
I liked how they brought Satya into the description.
Satya means truth.
Unchangeable truth.

So, as I spent my day running this word through my head, I discovered it was easier to speak about satya in the evening than the morning class.  In the AM, I had just read the article.  It needed time to marinade in my brain. By tonight I felt better in my sharing of the word. The concept.
I didn't get totally into it---I may soon, but I realized that the body is not satya.
The mind is not satya.
Only the spirit, connected to higher, is truth, unchangable truth--along with 'god'...whatever that may be.

I also began class asking them to think of something they are proud of within themselves. 
We spend so much of our time trying to get better at this or that. Faster. Quicker. Skinnier.
When we already have so many things we are excellent at...what we are holding as truths to ourselves.
I liked that.
I like setting intentions too--but that sometimes points out the less than positive traits we think about within ourselves.
We're awesome people.
Maybe you rock at washing the dishes.
Maybe you sing in the shower beautifully.
There are qualities we should love about ourselves and share readily.

In satya.
love.
Om

Perspective

Perspective with my hands.
Perspective with my body.

As I work through my down dogs
upward
into
Warrior 1,
I find cactus arms
into straight arms up high
extending forward
placement between eyes

And I think,
it's all perspective.

Sometimes we can see plainly what is in front of us...
other times we are looking around what is right before us,
while other times we are looking too closely in the present.

It all shifts.
Our perspective.
Upside down.
Rightside up.

Finding the moments to be in that change,
loving what is.

Morning practice

My morning practice was slow and undecided.
I am trying to incorporate more standing poses into my practice...for two, of probably many, reasons:
1)Students tend to love them..I suppose it's where they feel grounded in the practice; knowing whatever I may offer to them before or after, they are able to stand in their place for the moment.  I practice what I teach.  Often obsessively--just to make sure it's safe and playful.
2)I need to ground myself more often.  I am airy. Creative. I love vinyasa movements, linking my moves as if I'm dancing through my practice--how I most often approach life...but sometimes I need to stand still. Stand up. Be planted in my views and know it's ok to feel the way I do, even if it's only a present moment.  Placement. 


Once I got moving, feeling the space--I found some fluid movements...working through spinal rolls, twists, incorporated backbends and side stretches into goddess.
I enjoy creating what seems to be new approaches to me to the simple movements I've done for 15 years...it adds that spark to my moment..to the beginning of my day.


Om

Twisting nights

Tonight I focused more on floorwork, beginning with

Uttasana, folding deeply from my hip creases touching the ground with my hands.
Holding.
Holding.
Holding.
Until I brought my arms in reverse, letting them fall overhead.
Release my arms into
tabletop.

Cat/Cow
Downdog
Uttasana...over and over again.

Ardha Chandrasana.
Standing Splits
Uttasana.
Both sides.

Cat/Cow
Downdog
to my belly for rock the boat baby, tip the boat over...
Boat Pose.
Half Frog.

Then for extended straight legs and lottsa twists.
Rishi Twists 1,2,3

Floor Twists

Savasana...ahhhh...

During all of this I felt my body releasing pressure I've let build.
I'm feeling mixed feelings about not doing any real teaching, since I've acquired my
200 hours.  But really--it isn't that I'm worried about $, I just don't want to lose my momentum or my teaching ability.  While I was doing this tonight I wondered if maybe this is my personal practice being able to deepen...I have the time I haven't had for months. 

Just going to let it all unfold.
Twist into place.

Namaste

I taught my first "official" class this morning.
I had one person.
A teacher herself.
And I felt blessed to have her there.

I feel like I have this big, wonderful teacher in me--but fear is holding
my tongue.
What is going through my mind and how I filter is huge.

A filter is a great thing.
But, sometimes fear makes the filter --the veil-- stronger than it needs to be.

I feel as I continue, my teaching veil will thin--
like my bellydance veil:)

Which I begin again this Sunday!!  Yay--can't wait to do alittle shimmy xoxo

Not so much yin tonight

Normally my night-time yoga consist of relaxing forward bends,
hanging my head deep
releasing all the daytime energy to escape
from the soles of my feet
to the base of head
collapsing into the earth

followed by floor,
wide-legged stretch
shooting energy outward
letting my sit bones go
until i find myself into

terrasana

deep forward
no
more
tension
hipward
but open and happy
sleepy....

But tonight I found myself trying to be more yin, almost 10 minutes each pose...

supta virasana left my knees
legs
tingling
and my back trying to relax to get into

supta baddha konasana with a make-shift bolster--like a folded couch cushion,
relaxing my base but opening
my heart
visualizing
but awakening

to supta padamasana
and more heart awakening that
i love normally--but not at 10pm...and knowing i just needed to end
in
feet up the wall,
but without the wall...
till i knew my few minutes of meditation were lovely,
and really this yin practice, though semi-relaxing, wasn't sleepily relaxing.

I am not dismissing that this may work some evenings, but this practice felt
much more gentle
restorative
wide open
to my day tomorrow...

Namaste

I stood

beside my yogini sisters

candlelight shining

brighter love

Blissed gaze towards family

friends

my love

Who gave me

Anjali Mudra

Namaste

shining his inner light

pure love

Without thought of origination...

only his heart

Karma Yoga

Tomorrow night will be my Karma yoga class...it is part of our teacher training program.  All money donations are given to Daybreak which is an awesome organization. 

I will be honest though..I'm nervous.  I haven't taught for months to get the beginners experience, but now I'm wondering how smart that may be--because part of teaching is continually practicing.  OH sigh..but here we are and I'm ready.

Well almost.
I have a sequence, but want to zen it out I guess.  Silly ego.  Pride.  Humanity. 
Love.

Kosha

I am in the beginning months of my yoga teacher training...it's hard to believe by December I will be able to feel I can teach.  Seeing how as I've taught on and off for years, not truly knowing what I was doing, I have gratitude for these classes.  Not only so I can share the gift of yoga, but also for my inner well being.

As I was looking through pics online, I found this picture.  Recently we were talking about kosha's, which to me are levels of energy and being...and as we were discussing I found myself sketching something similar to this found picture. 

I have the intent of making this yoga blog..with some bellydance thrown in because my heart belongs to dance also.

Namaste.